A Book

hello all, I am going to be writing a book with the subject matter being autism from a female perspective. Recently I’ve lost another job because I couldn’t make quota and I tried to take my life over this fact because of the frustration of not being able to do my job fast enough and barely reaching quota.
I’ve got poems already saved on my computer so it might be a mix of things honestly I want to write about my life thus far because I feel others could benefit from it. Also I want to make money and desperately want a job but none that suit me are available.
It’s so frustrating to be almost 36 years of age and still living at home, I want to be productive I want to have my own place but things have not lined up to accommodate such basic things.
Social situations that others take for granted are something that I’ve used my smarts my intellect to try and navigate. People see me and hear me but don’t really listen or observe beyond the top layer. I’ve had the idea of a book for my poetry but honestly I need to write about how hard life has been and how I’ve had to triple my efforts just to stay afloat and tread.
More often then not I drown and when I do is when I have a breakdown. I have tried my local Department of Rehab for people trying to get jobs and that failed spectacularly. I’ve called them again and written them but no one has returned my phone calls or emails because they I’m assuming don’t want to deal with the problem that is me and all the issues I’ve had trying to keep a job. I was a client of DARS of Hampton/Newport News for 7 years and made minimal progress to none at all.
All my hard work means nothing, it amounted to not passing the IT A plus exam after personally funding for my own test and retaking the test 7 times $200 each time I took the exam. I inturned for two years as well and learned a lot about the IT field but again have not managed to get and keep a job longer then 2 months.
In the summer of 2018 I had a contract job and I thrived while doing it. Most recently I had a job scanning documents which required a number I had to reach daily in order to keep that job. My skill set isn’t in speed and accuracy it’s one or the other.
I haven’t gotten my bachelors yet because of a bill that I made when I tried to go back to liberty university but at the time didn’t drop my classes so $3,000 for not dropping the classes in time. I’ve worked so hard with little to show for my efforts and I’m so damn sick of it.
Currently I am struggling with self harm because honestly I’ve been burning my wick at both ends for years now and self harm does temporarily relieve the stress. Am I sorry that I’m struggling yes I am, but not much else I can do about it. It’s a powerful sedative and frankly it’s keeping me from killing myself.
What’s a 30 something female to do when she’s got so much potential and has not yet encountered a chance to grow? I don’t know, perhaps you dear reader do.
-Hannah C.


The Daily Nosh

From Messianic Jewish Alliance of America
General Secretary – Joel Chernoff

July 17, 2019

These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have shalom (peace). In the world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have come to overcome the world!” (TLV) John 16: 33

Nosh: Even as a submitted and committed believer in Yeshua, life is filled with trouble, tribulation and challenges both great and small. Yeshua says, the difference is that we are not on our own. He is our supernatural partner in overcoming those difficulties. When I reflect on my life, I am eternally grateful for this partnership. Frankly, I can’t imagine living and navigating my life without Him. He truly is the ultimate difference maker.

The Daily Nosh

From Messianic Jewish Alliance of America
General Secretary – Joel Chernoff

July 14, 2019

You are to raise the Tabernacle according to the plan which you were shown on the mountain. (TLV) Exodus 26:30

Nosh: God is organized, ordered and always has a plan. Even as He instructed Moses to follow His plan for the Tabernacle, God has a plan for our lives. For best results in life our goal should be to seek out, know and execute that plan. He is more than willing to share it with us…if we humble ourselves and ask.

Hello again sweat app ladies! 👋 I’m wondering if anyone here has autism? I’m a female with autism and it’s honestly been a hard row so far.

I had a job recently and that wasn’t fit for me and I attempted to take my life by swallowing too many pills it was the first time I’ve tried to kill myself in 14 years.

I worked very hard and I’m still working hard to either succeed academically or two succeed in a professional field. The sweat up has helped me get back into a fitness routine and has helped my mood slightly.

I’m on new antidepressants I have PCOS cysts on my ovaries I’ve been on a low-dose birth-control for 10 years and counting it’s taken a while to reach the size gold I’m at right now my goal is about 170 160 pounds for five foot eight and a half. I’m currently in the mid 180s I was 260 pounds two years ago. Weight loss surgery plus lifestyle changes helped my weight move in a slow down tick.

There’s not many girls who are autistic on the higher end, or they are under diagnosed. Girls turn inward boys display signs outwardly, hence why more males are diagnosed.

I’m 35 years old and feel very tired and alone. I’ve spent seven years with my local community service boards and departments of rehabilitation for employment. It’s been frustrating because I physically don’t appear to have a disablement because I’ve had to work 10 times as hard as my Nuro typical female counterparts I have been placed in about two jobs in the seven years that I have spent through the department that I used to work with for people that are disabled and was placed in positions of employment that were not adapt to my strengths.

Getting out of bed in the mornings is a struggle, just shooting a line out there to see if there any other females here on the Sweat app that have been diagnosed on the autism spectrum.

I’ve recently been struggling with cutting myself again for the first time in seven years. 😞 it’s been an uphill climb for my entire life and honestly daily I’m struggling just to live, my will to continue to live is on a razors edge. I wish I could just snap out of my depression.

Swear app has helped some getting back into a life routine. Still I’m walking wounded, and not many people can relate.

I know I’m not the only female with autism spectrum who’s experiencing this

This video deals with content regarding autism suicidal ideation social community services board’s and department of rehabilitative services not placing me in a job for success rather one that set me up for failure as it didn’t work to my strengths but asked my spatial recognition speed and accuracy huge weakness related to my autism to ‘shine’ https://youtu.be/3RxnKeU9uzw